Happiness

[hypno-therapist]

Hi all,

Simple question

What is your definition of happiness?

Here is what one dictionary says;

[PhoenixDawn]

Forget about synonyms and adjectives - my personal reflection translates into

"an internal, individualised perception providing a sense of contentment, well being, self-value, and balance"

though I suspect I'll read the response of others and state - "yeah, and that as well ...."

I'm looking forward to reading everyone else's definition.

All the Best

Dawn

[hypno-therapist]

[PhoenixDawn]

Aha, what an insightful question! So what built this definition for me. An all too common tale ........

Simply the years of misery, searching for that elusive thing called happiness, expecting it to come from something or someone external. The "when I have X, I will be able to be happy" and when I found X, nothing changed.

Happiness came when, through observation of society; myself; and materials I read; alongside workshops and training I attended; I finally understood that all I simply had to do was to choose to be - happy; just allowing, appreciative, basking in the moment of now, being what/who I am, with what I have, right here right now with gratitude.

Sounds like some kind of fluffy euphoric bliss, eh?

Well, still sometimes, as life unfolds, I forget how to be happy, and that I have the choice, and so I experience challenges to my personal state of balance and bliss. And I learn from it.

That is, until I get uncomfortable enough to remember again and decide to make the adjustment.

Hope I made sense

[hypno-therapist]

[PhoenixDawn]

Oooooooh squirm! ........ you're good, very good! I love it!

So the prevention of unhappiness so as to promote happiness ...... hmmmm, let me see ...... ?

I may have to come back several times as I process this question. This clearly goes deep.

My initial response is that I (personally) appreciate the state of 'Unhappiness' from time to time so that I can more readily appreciate, on a greater scale, the state of 'Happiness' when I have it. I guess, I'm saying that sometimes I need to hit rock bottom in order to be able to bounce back up brighter and better (as noted in John Gray's "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus")

Naturally, I'm unlikely to tell you that I appreciate 'Unhappiness' whilst I'm in that state. It's the conclusions I come to when I reflect on the purpose of my 'unhappiness' (what my unconscious mind wishes me to acknowledge and take action on in order to be happy again - perhaps core values failing to be met etc) that bring me to a level of appreciation at a later time.

So, to go beyond this, one aspect of avoiding unhappiness and promoting happiness would be to ensure that I am conscious of, respect, and take action to protect, my core values at all times.

[hypno-therapist]

Sure I can grasp what you are saying here - thanks for taking the time to say it

I find it really interesting to explore the relationship between the lows of unhappiness and the apprectiation of happiness (happiness itself).

I met someone today that beats themselves up for being unhappy and I noted that this behaviour is more than likely promoting their unhappiness. Where as a guy that I met a few days back accepts that he has unhappiness which in turn seemed to promote his happiness.

So, it could be possible then that happiness starts only with acceptance? But acceptance of what?

It is my oppinion that happiness starts when we accept the truth. Once we have that sussed, we can then progress into deeper levels of hapiness.

Let we tell you a story to explain my point a little clearer.

I have a friend, we will call him Larry.

One day Larry came to me and asked my advice regarding a prolem that was making him feel really unhappy. Larry, told me that he had a fear of flying. Interested, I asked him 'how many times have you flown?'. He told me that he had never flown, not even once. So, I asked him how he could know that he was fearful of flying when he had in fact never done it before.

He explained that everytime that he thought about flying he would shudder and panic.

I explained to him then that his fear was not about the reality of flying, but his perception of flying. It was his thoughts and not reality that help his fear.

I got him to look at a picture for me. Here it is;



I asked him what he saw... For about 45 minutes, he actually became fustrated as he searched for the answer. Then after many wrong answers, he hit the nail on the head.

When he saw what it actually was (the truth), he no longer had to get fustrated. In fact he could automatically see the image every time without guessing at all.

His fustration turned to happiness now that he has solved it and seen what the picture actually was. He saw the truth!

So, I asked him. Would he be prepared to take a flight and see the truth of the matter, instead of trusting his perception...

He reluctantly agreed...

Anyway, to cut a long story short... Larry is a happy flyer now!

Well-done Larry and all those other brave Larry's out there...

So, is the search and acceptance of truth the real cause of happiness? Well, I will let you decide for yourself...

Actually, to keep it interesting. If you know what the picture is above, try not to post the answer here, but allow others to find it for themselves.

[PhoenixDawn]

Superb Richard. I agree with you!

Curiously, I had to take off my glasses to see the image more readily. Perhaps there's a whole psychological analysis to go with that too!