| Author |
Message |
horsesinger
Starter Member
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 29
Location: Chicago, IL
|
 Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:29 am Post subject: Happiness |
 |
|
| Is happiness the goal, or is it a byproduct of reaching a goal? What's the difference between happiness and contentment? Is contentment a consolation prize or intrinsically valuable in itself? I'd be interested in all viewpoints. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
|
|
|
Paddy Landau
Site Moderator
Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 490
Location: Oxford, United Kingdom
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 10:44 am Post subject: |
| |
|
| horsesinger wrote: | | What's the difference between happiness and contentment? Is contentment a consolation prize or intrinsically valuable in itself? |
"Happiness" and "contentment" are two of those nominalisations that can mean many different things to many different people. Indeed, the dictionary includes "contentedness" as part of the definition of "happiness".
They are both states of mind. To feel happy or to feel contented means to feel a certain set of feelings in your body and mind; and these feelings will differ in each person.
Generally, "content" means to feel that things are fine the way they are. "Happy" means to feel some sort of feelings that you like and would like to maintain. For some people, the two are synonymous, whereas for others, they are not.
For me, contentedness is nice in the short term, but scary, because it wraps me in my comfort zone. But that's only because of how I interpret the word. Someone else will interpret it differently.
| horsesinger wrote: | | Is happiness the goal, or is it a byproduct of reaching a goal? |
If we understand happiness as being a state of mind, body and energy, then it is a goal. However, it seems that happiness cannot be achieved by aiming for it; it seems to be a message by your mind and body that you are doing things well.
Thus, in practice, to aim for happiness, you need to aim for something that will result in happiness. That is such a broad statement, that it almost has no meaning.
It seems to me that a person achieves happiness when working towards some "purpose" in life; and that purpose will differ not only for each person, but also for each stage in a person's life.
Paddy |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
horsesinger
Starter Member
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 29
Location: Chicago, IL
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:59 pm Post subject: RE: Happiness |
| |
|
Thanks for your input, Paddy. I've been having a discussion with a client who has as his sole aim in life, the pursuit of happiness. Your comment,
"If we understand happiness as being a state of mind, body and energy, then it is a goal. However, it seems that happiness cannot be achieved by aiming for it; it seems to be a message by your mind and body that you are doing things well.", is more concise than what I've been saying. If I may, I will introduce it at his next session and see what his response is. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Paddy Landau
Site Moderator
Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 490
Location: Oxford, United Kingdom
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:38 pm Post subject: Re: Happiness |
| |
|
| horsesinger wrote: | | If I may, I will introduce it at his next session and see what his response is. |
You're welcome to do so!
Let us know what happens.
All emotions are a result of doing something; they are consequences, not causes.
Attempt to grab onto happiness, and it will forever elude you. Forget about happiness; go for something meaningful instead to the outstanding best of your ability and ethics, and happiness will visit you often.
It also helps to have a useful philosophy, despite the derision that philosophy receives these days.
How old is your client? People's "purpose" seems to change -- on average -- roughly every ten years as they pass through stages of maturity.
Paddy |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
horsesinger
Starter Member
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 29
Location: Chicago, IL
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 11:30 pm Post subject: RE: Happiness |
| |
|
He is 61, a Vietnam combat veteran. He has pretty much stuffed everything. He will not sit with his back to an entry/exit, but denies that he is vigilant. Denial is his most often used defense mechanism.
I will share what happens with this forum. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
karmanetics
Starter Member
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
Location: spain
|
| Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:07 pm Post subject: |
| |
|
there is actually a formula for happiness, but I donīt know how accurate it can be. People tend to lie or exagerate with questionaires, and forms.
Curious enough, the anticipation of pleasure is usually greater then the pleasure itself, and if that anticipation is also mixed with some insecurity, then we experience even more pleasure (more dopamine release).
The run up to a vacation is usually better than the vacation itself. We tend to forget airport queues, lost luggage, mosquitos etc.
Notice how a dog gets super excited and happy while one is preparing his dinner, more so, than the actually eating itself.
In hypnosis, we sometimes say,"in a moment you will find yourself in a beautiful garden" the anticipation makes it more powerful.
here is the formula:
Happiness = P + (5xE) + (3xH)
P stands for Personal Characteristics, adaptability and resilience.
E stands for Existence: health, finance and friendships.
H represents Higher Order needs, self-esteem, expectations, ambitions, sense of humour. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Paddy Landau
Site Moderator
Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 490
Location: Oxford, United Kingdom
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:51 am Post subject: |
| |
|
| karmanetics wrote: | | Happiness = P + (5xE) + (3xH) |
An interesting formula.
So you can measure happiness so precisely?
I find myself rather sceptical. Although we are ruled by the laws of the universe, as beings we are not precisely formulaic in our moods and states.
Besides, those words -- happiness, personal characteristics, adaptability, resilience, existence, health, finance, friendships, self-esteem, expectations, ambitions, humour -- these are all nominalisations, and as such resist their own precise definitions. (How would you define "resilience"? "friendship"?)
Paddy |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
katharina
Starter Member
Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 61
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 10:18 pm Post subject: |
| |
|
| karmanetics wrote: | Curious enough, the anticipation of pleasure is usually greater then the pleasure itself, and if that anticipation is also mixed with some insecurity, then we experience even more pleasure (more dopamine release).
|
This part I agree with and I've often experienced it myself... vacations like you already mentioned, and also Christmas. I love Christmas. But the day itself is often a huge let-down because I've been doing things and planning for it for months.
But this:
| Quote: |
here is the formula:
Happiness = P + (5xE) + (3xH)
P stands for Personal Characteristics, adaptability and resilience.
E stands for Existence: health, finance and friendships.
H represents Higher Order needs, self-esteem, expectations, ambitions, sense of humour. |
Well that one I just can't agree with. Unless you're talking about an "overall happiness" like how one feels about their life in general. If you mean happiness the way most of us think of it then no, this doesn't seem like something that can be measured. It's *so* highly subject to change by things that happen in life, even day to day life.
Well, having said all that, I think I just convinced myself that you *did* mean an overall happiness. But maybe you can tell me how to figure out "five times existence" or "three times higher order"... that totally stumps me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
finster
Starter Member
Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 20
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:17 pm Post subject: |
| |
|
| What makes you happy? What makes me happy is to be well and my family well ,and to have our bills paid. Thats all it takes to make me happy .I alays thought it did not take much to make me happy.Having a good book to read or it becomes cloudy on a hot summer day and looks like rain ,that makes me happy. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
brandon05
Starter Member
Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 74
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 3:51 am Post subject: |
| |
|
| I am with the above poster in that as long as my family is healthy and we have enough money coming in to take care of our needs it is all good and I am happy. To me I think contentment comes when you are happy. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
hypno-therapist
Site Moderator
Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 883
Location: Witney UK
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 10:21 am Post subject: |
| |
|
Hey all,
Happy Sunday! 
Happiness is - just saying ok to the world around you and enjoying what you have. Even those will terminal illness' and who live it poverty can be happy! It's a state of mind...
A builder enjoys building as much as he likes seeing his finished work - it makes him happy - thats why he is a builder!
In the same way, true happiness starts when we drop the 'I'll be happen when' stuff and just start living for today... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
|
Forum Subscriptions 
FAQ 
Search 
Memberlist 
Usergroups 
SmartFeed
Register
Profile 
Log in to check your private messages 
Log in 
